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We'd been married two years and had our first child, Jack, when we went to a dinner party being held by one of Laurent's former girlfriends, Aurelie.I'd always been wary of her - Laurent had cheerfully told me she was a brilliant lover. It was another example of his very French openness about sex.We sat at a long trestle table that ran down the middle of her garret flat and ate her magnificent food and sipped her carefully chosen wine. The guests, as I would soon realise, were anticipating more subtle pleasures.As the evening wore on, I noticed that a few men and women were peeling away from the table and moving into the next room.Elegant, exquisitely dressed and immaculately groomed, they radiated a mixture of hauteur and sexual confidence.

His role in the relationship is to be her sugar daddy and provide her with power and material wealth.

It was like an equation: to prolong the pleasure, you prolong the hunt. So he wouldn't ring for days, leaving me wretched with worry. His mother, Madeleine, came from an aristocratic family and his father, Jerome, an architect, was from the Parisian bourgeoisie.

Then he would turn up at dawn under my window, proclaiming his love. But our apparent similarities masked a totally different attitude to the most integral part of marriage: sex.

Hers, beyond providing sex, is to remind others that he is powerful or rich enough to be desirable to such a woman despite his age and thus to serve as a marker of this status -- hence the "trophy" part.

The first time I realised just how differently the French view sex was at my wedding.

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    What will be the first song we dance to at our wedding? Our How do thoughts escalate so quickly when an attractive man or woman enters the picture?